I feel your pain, I feel this moment when the daylight seem to be turned off and an orange cloud fills the air. It feels as if you are trapped in a bubble of dust. You can’t breath anymore because the air is so dense and the smoke, mixed with the rubble, is blocking your nose. I was there before, when a bomb hit my room, I was in the same place as you. The worse part is that this dust is so sticky you cannot remove it with a simple shower. Watching this picture, people might think that you were covered with fine powder but it is not, it is like cement, so difficult to get rid of.
This is the physical description of what happened but the emotional part is that you will feel like a zombie for a long time after the dust is gone. You will feel that death was very close to take you, and that death will be lingering until it gets you.
Who said that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? I still can’t stand to hear an explosion or even fireworks, I can’t hold a weapon or see one. I wish every one who went through war felt like me, so wars will stop one day.